February 2012
34 posts
I noticed lately that I’ve gotten these smile lines around my mouth that the late-night television ads call ‘parentheses’ and promise to eliminate, but I rather like mine. For some reason, I’m only getting them on the left side of my mouth, though. Perhaps I’m smirking more than smiling? I will work on that.
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Tonight I went out with no pants on and I bought a six dollar piece of cake. This bender just left me alone in his house with an old Brad Pitt movie on, and I was talking on the phone at the time so I couldn’t object. Now I’m just sitting here wondering if I should ash on the floor the whole time he’s gone. Please advise. It’s carpet so I can just rub it in.
With John Waters’ blessing, I am watching the Justin Beiber movie, and he just ate a doughnut out of a garbage can backstage. I’m just sitting here laughing myself to tears. I wonder how many girls he’s fucked. There is a number. There is a number, and I’ll never know it. I think it might be over 700 or 800 or least 9,000. This is the best move I’ve ever seen....
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Anonymous asked: what creeps you out? I hang on yr words, I love yr words.
Anonymous asked: My ass(hole) really hurts right now, because I took a shit the other night when I was drunk, and I guess I didn't wipe very well, because some shit stayed behind and it is irritating the skin like a motherfucker. I would wipe it off now but it has dried. I am doing everything I can to stop this madness. The shower does no good. It is well past the intermediate intergluteal cleft, near the...
Anonymous asked: Do you believe in the institution of marriage?
Anonymous asked: ive been encouraged to take prenatal vitamins to make my hair grow longer/faster, have you ever done that? and how will this effect my uterine development?
When one of my queries to a Craigslist rental ad was followed up by an obvious scammer on a mission in Africa, requesting I fill out a profile of myself, I sent a hyperlink to tubgirl.com. They replied “I want you to know that I’m satisfied with your profile and also believe l can trust in you, l showed your profile to my wife and daughter , they said they are ok with it.”...
Anonymous asked: Joe's shirt?
At best, it will be like it never was. But it will never be like it was.
He looked down on me in life. Suppose he’s looking down on me in death.
Bronson > Drive
I can’t apologize enough.
Anonymous asked: You're a pretty cool dude.
Anonymous asked: Have you ever read Joan Didion's essays?
Anonymous asked: i used to read your livejournal. i'm extremely pleased that i found your tumblr. you're a great writer. quirky and adorable.
I couldn’t steady my breath while falling asleep last night and the only thing that did was dreaming of smoking cigarettes.
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Anonymous asked: you are an absolutely amazing author. I want to drown in your words. with that said, and with tears all over the fucking place, I am miserably sorry for your heartache. nothing I can say will sound good. it is all so meaningless.. peace be with you
I don’t want to just bereft.
January 2012
55 posts
LET US PUT A GREAT DEAL OF HOPE IN EACH OTHER.
I don’t think I ever met a nigga with a headboard.
Scent is so influential. Last night I was at a crowded, smoky bar and someone standing near me smelled so damned good, it made the music sound better, it made even the sweatiest, belligerent heaux look like a lovely angel, and all the lumberjack Chachis like marriage material. I could have stood there smooshed up against a wall sober as a bird with my ears ringing and a full bladder for hours, as...
Dream. 1.28.12
I was looking for a place to live. There was a house that looked pretty run-down, but like it had been really gorgeous about 50 years ago. It had a 2br/1ba apartment inside for rent for a disconcerting $495/month, and I think Kirsten Dunst was the homeowner. It had a sub-sign on the sign that said STUBBORN in big, red letters. I guess to alert folks not to try finagle the price down or something....
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I wish Skrillex would be deported.
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Anonymous asked: The message was disjointed because tumblr's a big fucking dildobaby and wouldn't let me type the whole thing. But thank you for that response, really. My shrink's an acerbic cunt and I lie to her anyway, so it was refreshing to just explode at a junt who ain't gonna judge. I'm a paraplegic penguin with a heavy, heavy heart, and lately the weight of it feels like it's...
Anonymous asked: what are some of your favorite books?
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My tooth broke again this morning and shopping is the only thing that feels good. But you are a sun beam. You’re a sun beam and I am a ream of used toilet paper infinitely unfurling smears of excrement that I also am. One more verbless sentence.
